Okay, so this title is completely misleading. But don’t worry, I wanted it to be.
I love blogging. If you leave me alone with a laptop and even a semi-questionable Internet connection, I will barely be counted in the world of the living until I need food or drink, or the computer dies. And even then, I can go another twenty minutes or so before I act on any needs. Not gonna lie, I once continued trying to scroll down my Tumblr dashboard for a few more minutes after my computer died out. In my defense, I had had no sleep and was outside where the screen was practically black in the sunlight anyway. Stop it. Stop judging. I’m actually vision-impaired. So you’re JUDGING A DISABLED PERSON. I hope you feel bad.
Regardless of what a bad person you are, this post is about blogging. So just try and focus on that instead of your imminent acceptance into the fiery pits of hell.
Even now, I have to physically stop myself from reaching for the mouse and clicking from the blog tab to my Tumblr tab. It’s even more awful, because my personal blog on Tumblr (which I will not give you the URL to, so don’t ask) is so completely shallow, and the people I follow are so deliciously shallow that there’s rarely anything other than pretty pictures, fashion, Hunger Games and Harry Potter pictures, and Mean Girls references. Oh, and really cute drawings and rad quotes. (I flicked tabs just now, sorry!)
But as soon as you get me away from a computer and the world wide web, I barely even acknowledge the existence of the Internet, except to check actors on IMDB and rub it in my siblings’ faces when I was right about Christina Ricci being in Ice Storm. Cause you’ve gotta revel in your accomplishments, no matter how small.
But other than those moments, I have to remind myself to check Facebook. To update my status and not become one of those people I used to get annoyed at for not constantly telling me what’s going on in their lives, three times a day. Yes, that used to annoy me. You’re judging someone with a disability again.
Even more than Facebook, I have to remember to blog. And then I need an actual computer and the motivation after six weeks of trying to act like I didn’t make a promise to family and friends to tell them about all the cool shit I get up to.
– One day goes by because I was unceremoniously kicked off the Internet by some strange man at the hostel.
Apparently it was midnight and people wanted to sleep.
Like, whatever –
I’m back in my blogging funk, ugh. Probably because I’m surrounded by lots of people and I’m listening to some really questionable music. Let me just cut all of my witty, well-written crap and get right to the point. All of my friends know that I constantly moan and whine about how I can’t just be a professional blogger and how it sucks because it’s something I’m really good at. But when it actually comes down to it, I hate blogging when it feels like someone expects me to do it. Hate it.
Probably because I’m just a bratty kid who hates feeling like anyone expects me to do anything other than lie in bed and eat coffee-flavoured coconut caramels. I’ve been doing WAY too much of that lately. But even today, I bet my family expected me to just grab lunch, lie in bed and get the laundry. Instead I went exploring in Saigon and found all of these cool places we could’ve gone to, and found these little markets that I’m pretty sad we missed going to. Even when people expect me to be lazy, and when I want to be lazy, I end up doing something different. I know my sister already knows this because 99% of the time when I ask her to choose between two options, I’ll pick whatever she said I shouldn’t pick.
I’m annoying, aren’t I?
I hate being predictable. I hate expectations. Always have. Probably always will. If I was voted “Most Likely To Succeed” (if I was in a school where we had that kind of stuff) then some little part of me would want to crash and burn to prove people wrong. I don’t know why I always want to do what people think I won’t do/shouldn’t do. But I can’t help it.
I kind of lost my point thanks to the random guy from last night who obviously had more concern for people trying to sleep than for me to have a great ending to my blog post. So rude!*
So I’m gonna end it here, and just tell you that I blog whenever I do it. I’d say I’ll do some more posts tonight, but we all know that means I won’t do it. I’m actually really envious of people like Mommy Wants A Vodka. Mostly because she blogs really regularly, but a little bit because she’s not afraid to curse on her blog. But mostly because she blogs whenever I don’t.
Whatever. I’ll queue the posts and you will all be none the wiser!
Anyway, my family is calling me for dinner. So I’m queuing this, and by the time you read it, I’ll be on a Big Jet Plane to LA!!
* Clearly I am being sarcastic. I hope that transfers for you all through text.
P.S. If you judge me for listening to that Carly girl, then you’re judging a disabled person – AGAIN! Do you think I can get one of those parking permits when I get home or what?